WHAT IS YOUR HOT FUDGE SUNDAE?
One of the best things about emotional intelligence is how it helps you see things from a different angle. It makes you stop and think about why you do the things you do. Let me tell you a little story to explain what I mean.
I’ve always had a weakness for McDonald’s hot fudge sundaes. They’re cheap, simple, and so good. A few years ago, I noticed I was hitting up McDonald’s a lot—like three or four times a week—for those sundaes. At first, I thought, "Okay, maybe I should stop this," but I didn’t. I was really enjoying them. Then my wife pointed it out: "Honey, you’re eating way too many hot fudge sundaes. Maybe you should cut back." Did I stop? Nope. Instead, I started hiding the cups from her and kept going back for more.
That got me thinking: Why was I so hooked on those sundaes? I decided to dig a little deeper and pay attention to what was going on. I started noticing a pattern: I’d always crave a sundae right after I’d done something nice for someone and didn’t get any acknowledgment or thanks.
That’s when it hit me—I was basically rewarding myself for doing something nice. If no one else was gonna say "good job," I figured I’d treat myself to a sundae. Once I realized that, I decided to change things. Every time I did something kind, I’d talk to myself. I’d say, "Hey Vince, that was really nice of you to do that. Good job. Nobody might notice or thank you, and that’s totally fine. Good job." And guess what? Once I started doing that, my sundae cravings pretty much disappeared.
This whole experience taught me something big: Most of the decisions we make are driven by emotions. When we figure out what’s really going on emotionally, we can make better choices. So, here’s my question for you: What’s your "hot fudge sundae"? What’s that thing you’re drawn to? Take a second to pause and think about what’s happening right before you feel that urge. Get curious about yourself and try to figure out what’s triggering it.
It’s kind of fun when you start noticing these patterns. I still have a hot fudge sundae now and then, but now it’s just because I feel like it—not because of some emotional thing I need to work through. For me, it’s all about making sure who I am on the outside matches who I am on the inside.
So, if you’ve made it this far, I challenge you to try this little self-awareness exercise. And hey, as a reward, go treat yourself to a hot fudge sundae!
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